Conquering Fears!!

My biggest fear is REJECTION!! I have avoided situations and tasks because of fear of rejection. I have done it so much that avoiding has become so comfortable and the thought of facing the fear has almost been paralyzing. Giving into fear has caused me not to have as much progression in life as I would like. But today was different!! Today I took a huge step in conquering one of my biggest fears and it was not as bad as I thought it would be, in fact it was kinda easy.

Minutes before I was gonna tackle this fear my feeling of anxiety went thru the roof. I have never experienced this strong feeling of anxiety before. I think I went thru every emotion in about 30 minutes. LOL. I was extremely nervous to the point of tears and shaky hands and countless trips to the bathroom. I took a few deep breaths and tried to changed the nervous energy to exciting energy.

During the actual fear conquering the anxiety started melting away. I started having an out-of-body experience when I realized how comfortable and easy conquering this fear can be. But then it happened. The negative self-talk that I have been so accustomed to doing started to slip back in my mind. I quickly blocked those thoughts out with some deep breaths and praise for myself that I have took a huge step. When this step was over I was so proud of myself !! I cried, Happy tears. What I realized is that this was not as close to being half bad that I made it to be. I think I can get use to this conquering fears business!!
The new way I am looking at Fear, False Evidence Appearing Real
There's Nothing To It, I Can Do It
-Missy

Why I'm Blogging

I decided to blog as a way of documenting my transformation. I am 31 and I am on search to find out who I am. I want to be comfortable, secure, confident, and happy in my skin. I have made some changes but feel like I still have a lot of  growing to do. I think if I had went away to college I would have already gone thru this phase. I feel like I am a late bloomer and there is no one else going thru this phase this late in the game. One thing that I am getting more comfortable with is my femininity. I still consider myself  a tomboy but I have been enjoying wearing clothes from the women section. There was a time that I only shopped in the men's section, except for underwear. LOL. I still have those moments when I feel like people might be thinking "what does that big girl think she doing" or "she too big for her jeans to be that tight". Slowly but surely I am becoming more secure with who I am.