Wow!! I finally built up enough
courage to take a Leap Of Faith. After 5 ½ years I finally quit my job that was
making me miserable. I never knew that I had this type of courage and faith. I
gave my ex-employer a month notice about my resignation. Being a person that
has let fear and anxiety take control of my life I was so surprised that I was
extremely calm and at peace with this decision. I decided to leave my job
without a safety net. During the last month of working I was actually offered,
accepted, and started to work a second job. But that only lasted for about 2
weeks. After working the second job I realized I only accepted it as a safety
net. I was settling for a job that offered me almost half the amount of money
as my first job and less hours. Only thing that made me feel weird about
leaving my job was that the directors of my department never said ONE WORD to
me about leaving. There was ZERO discussions good or bad with me. I would think
that after 5 ½ years I would at least get a “Thank You For Your Service” card.
But I got NOTHING. It did hurt my feelings a little but it also confirmed that
I was making the right decision. Quitting my job has been the best decision
that I have made in my life so far.
I’m sure a
lot of people won’t understand why would I quit a job and not having a second
job lined up. My job was emotionally draining. There wasn’t any opportunities
for growth. No guidance. No leadership. No organization. I mean the majority of
the time the department heads wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was present. Not
even a simple “hello”. But more importantly I felt that I was not evolving as
person. I felt like I was dissolving. I don’t think I could become the person
that I want to be if I stayed there. It took months of thinking and praying on
this decision. I felt like if I didn’t leave now I would look up and would have
been working there 10 years and still feel miserable.
April 30
was my last day of employment. I have been enjoying this transition phase. I haven’t
found a job yet and I’m not worried at all. Since I have filled my head with
negative self-talk for so long, I find that I am trying to scare myself about
this decision. Filling my head up with worry, doubt, and fear. But it’s not
working. I am still at extreme peace with this decision. I am working on
becoming the best version of myself. Marisia 2.0 and creating opportunities for
myself.
